Okay I am admit I am a persistent dreamer. I have dreamt every night for the past seven nights and last night was no different. I wonder how long I’ve been like this for 🤔 Maybe I have been dreaming all this time and because I haven’t bothered to write them down I assume I have had no dreams…..

There were two parts to last night, one was a simple snapshot. There was me and Will sitting together,touching shoulders, laughing, joking, and he had his hand around my shoulder on a couple of occasions 😊 This was at work by the way so everyone must have seen it 🤔 But in reality this will never happen 😂😂😂😂.

Do you have the part consists of my mum and me driving to Paris. But looking at the map we had to go through lands end to get to Paris 🤔 we drove all the way down M5 to the very bottom left of the country and took took this underground carriage. We drove onto the carriage and yet it was the size of a ferry actually. Park the car in one of those fancy car park lifts where parking is done automatically. We stored our luggage somewhere safe, ordered food and my mum complained how expensive the food were. I remember a fish and chips costing just over 7 pounds and I said to her “that is about right if not cheaper than other restaurants” The underground eventually went overground and we crossed this bridge and I could see Parisien skyline through the windows. The train stopped and then we disembarked but my mothers luggage had gone missing so we had to get help from the staff. The luggage was made of silver titanium with her car registration written on VA05. My mother was close to tears because she left both her passport and money inside the suitcase. The staff managed to find some suitcases and started cutting through the zip on the luggage for no apparent reason. I was like oh my God why are you damaging all the suitcases but I didn’t say anything 🙄 eventually we managed to locate my mother’s r suitcase and off we went. God knows what happened to the car 🤔

I went out to buy Matt’s card today from paperchase as well as buying last minute few bits and bobs for the cake. Spent £50 on next gift card, which I can fully justify; bought a cake board from Lakeland, candles from poundland and a piping set from Sainsbury’s. Honestly the weight on my shoulder has gone completely and I felt happy whilst choosing the card today because I genuinely feel he is a good friend and a good friend only. I have no idea how excited I could get when choosing presents and cards for friends. I think I’m going to do this more often from now, as long as they understand my dark humour and jokes 🤣🤣

So the dream I had last night was about me driving along the Ring Road in Nottingham and I witnessed an accident. The car in front of me was very old, very old model of Volkswagen I would say because the boot was very square in shape. We just passed a set of traffic lights and somehow he ran into a pothole – the right front wheel went into a pothole to be precise. And then because of this deep pothole the whole car flipped onto its roof as if it’s done a cartwheel. And the best thing was I drove past it 🤣 I was determined to not get stuck in traffic jam so I drove past it as soon as I could. For some reason I went back to this pothole the next night. It was dead in the middle of the night. Drove right up to the pothole and got out of the car and thought oh my God this hole is massive! It was rectangular in shape and at least 10 cm deep – yes for some reason I had a ruler with me so I measured it 🤷🏻‍♀️ The whole was huge and I thought no wonder why that car flipped onto its roof 🤔🤔.

I just realised the date I wrote these articles doesn’t appear on the blog. I guess I have to manually add in the dates then 😥​

Worked 3.5hrs today as a volunteer for chemo screening. I have to say that daycase is fucking scary when there is no one around….It felt like a post apocalyptic hospital where a zombie (or a horde) is hiding around the corner. 😰​

Half way through at 13:00 ish got a message from Matt that his car has broken down and he is awaiting recovery truck. Ouch! On the day where Natasha and him are having a date, yet he is car less 😆​😆​ They will have to take bus back, first to Kimberley then 20 minutes walking. I doubt the shanghai chick will be impressed…….she’s a rich chinese at the end of the day, she probably doesn’t do walking 😐​😐​

Anyhow, breaking news……
Will is gay 😭​😭​😭​😭​😭​
Checked his FB whilst talking to Alice, got the approval from her that he is very hot 😍​ But…..he is gay…….WHY?!?!
Why are all cute and muscular guys gay?
Been talking to Daniel about this on Friday, as soon as 1 man becomes gay, that’s 2 men off the market. That sucks……really really sucks…….

Off I go to continue my de-cluttering.

So I went over to Matts house yesterday to help build the wardrobe. Got a birthday present from him…….it’s Overcooked 😍 and a Card with Chris Evans on, with Harry Birrdday inside it 🙈 So racist 😒🤣

Oh and breaking news, found out he has met a Chinese girl called Natasha from Shanghai. Studying to become an architect, currently doing an architecture Masters in Manchester. Dad is a doctor and I don’t know what her mum does for a living but apparently she is very rich. Been in Holland for a few years and have also stayed in Paris for another few years. Same age as me but most importantly she is roughly the same size as me….so what the fuck is all this petite size 8 Malarkey about?! He described her as very clever…..honest to God he needs to sort out how he classify someone as being clever because to me studying architecture is nothing clever at all. You just follow instructions. But most importantly it really didn’t bother me 🤔 So I told my good friend Alice about it all but she clearly weren’t interested…..I still haven’t told her about moving into Matt’s house 🙈. she clearly said to me don’t move into his house because it’s a trap and she doesn’t want to see me falling into this trap. She made a very good point actually because the reason why he’s renting it out so cheaply to me is because he knows I’m poor and he’s playing a game. But I don’t agree with her because I do feel like this is going to be a pure friendship and nothing else. Most importantly I feel the weight has been lifted off my shoulder and I am moving on. I am much happier in myself and even today Daniel have said again that I’m happier and back to my normal self. So moving in is not such a bad deal I don’t think 🤔. But I haven’t told anyone about this and I do worry about keeping such a big secret from everyone. Sometimes I feel like I’m 33 I’m old enough to make decisions and yet I have to seek approval from everyone around me. I think I’m doing the right thing, at least for the short term anyway because I really really am sick and tired of living in hospital accommodation. It is approaching two years now and I think I am getting more depressed the longer I stay here. Reasons why I have recently perked up is because a) I just came back from Hong Kong and b) I can see light at the end of the tunnel which is moving out of the accommodation.

Now that I’m 4 days into my 33yo life, I felt like I needed to start something for me to look back on when i’m old. So here’s another blog 😊

Ever since I reached my birthday 4 days ago I’ve been having a lot of weird and wonderful 🤔 dreams.I don’t know what is happening but I hope it’s not a sign to come because it’s just weird. So here we go…..

Amy-Jane

My first dream took place on the 31st of March. I was in premier in Old Street London. Alice step next to me and when I Woke up the first thing I said to her was “oh my God I had a dream last night and I gave birth to a baby girl named Amy-Jane”. Details are getting slightly fuzzy now even though it was only four days ago. In the dream I gave birth 2 days ago, I had a Caesarean section. I stuck to my guns even while I was dreaming 🤣 I could clearly see my scar just underneath my bikini line. I was sat in my house,parents house to be exact, And my mum and sister was around me walking up and down the living. The husband/boyfriend/partner was nowhere to be seen, which made me wonder 🤔 did I give birth to a girl by myself and now I have officially become a single mother? The sense of being a single mother was very strong. does this mean I will become a single mother in the future I will give birth to a girl named Amy Jane? The baby has a pair of crystal blue coloured eyes. They were so clear and so blue, It felt like it was something out of a film. But thinking about it there is no chance that I could give birth to a girl with blue eyes because it’s a recessive gene and I have brown eyes so even if I meet somebody who has got blue eyes the baby would never get blue eyes. Oh of course I forgotten about the dog! So in my dream I left a Labrador inside my car before I gave birth and nobody knew about that, So there I was sat on the sofa panicking thinking oh my God the dog has been in the car for 4-5 days! not fed no water no nothing. But I didn’t tell anyone about it I was just panicking on the sofa and that’s it 🤔.

Anyways to summarise I had a baby girl called Amy Jane and she has crystal blue eyes 👀

Rarber

so on the second night I was hoping I could continue the dream from the previous night. I don’t know if this is a continuation, but I definitely saw a man in this dream. His name is Rarber, and he was in my bedroom showing me 2 pictures of sign autographs. One was signed by an unknown person but the second one I clearly remember it to be Andy Lau. It says To RARBER Capital letters and obviously you finish off by his signature which I don’t even know if it’s correct or not. That’s how I remember his name. But who is he? Why did you come from I have no idea. Is it all interlinked? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️

And the dream I had last night was just plain weird. I will somehow back with my doctor ex, he bought the whole flat in Reading, as in the whole whole four floors. On the road outside the flat was all sealed off because of a local marathon. While I was walking back to the flat I somehow managed to get onto the track and then Ryan (haem SpR) ran 2 fingers down my neck while he was overtaking me. I look back and he then he stopped at the hydration Station. I kept walking until I reached the house and realised my ex had moved on and have invited a girl over for dinner. She is fat and ugly and small. Clearly I was disappointed by his choice but then again that’s not my problem. and then for some reason I really wanted to have a shower so I took my clothes off, put a towel around my body and then I asked her “do you need the toilet because I need to have a shower” and then she said to me oh no I’m okay I have a hernia so I don’t need to use the toilet. I was like what is happening???